About Me

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I live in Kent with my husband, toddler Tilly (henceforth known as Monkey) and another baby due in November. We have two cats, Duncan and Lady Macbeth, and four chickens who kindly lay us eggs daily. We live in the picturesque seaside town of Broadstairs. I enjoy reading, knitting and cooking. I'm trying to be a bit 'greener' (not sure how successfully), and to be a gentle parent. Extended breastfeeding and co-sleeping don't freak me out, we use cloth nappies and try to follow some of the ideals of Attachment Parenting. If that sounds as if I know what I'm doing, I don't! I am also a psychotherapist with an interest in Focusing-oriented therapy, and I have a small private practice in the area.

Monday, 9 February 2009

Thoughts on Passions and Projects

Something about this post by Mon has stayed with me since I first read it, and my thoughts are developing around the idea of passion and a project, and hopefully finding a way to combine the two. I love my life, I love being a Mama and being a wife, and although I find it hard to leave the Monkey I do like (do I love?) my work as a therapist. I haven't really written about my work here on the blog, partly because confidentiality means that of course I can't share anything that might potentially identify a client, but also because I feel a little embarrassed that my job involves helping people make sense of their lives when this blog often describes my struggles to be a grown-up, mature, patient person, i.e. the qualities one really expects of a psychotherapist! I also fear being judged by my age, that others might feel I don't have the necessary life experience, at 35, to be of help to others in crisis. But I digress...
I need a project, something that inspires me, engrosses me, perhaps something that takes me away from the more prosaic, practical, routine elements of mothering and running a home, something educative, something- dare I say- spiritual? Enlightening? Something with depth, something intellectually challenging. I love learning, and I'd like to learn about something new (or not yet well-known to me) in depth and in detail. I think it needs to be either psychology or philosophy-related, because I also need to be doing some continuing professional development. For some reason I have Jung on my mind, archetypal, depth psychology, something like that?I have considered studying more on Mindfulness but whilst I love to read about it I am useless at the practical application, I have no discipline for cultivating Presence, and without the practice the theory is hollow. The internet is a bit of a demon because it means I just flit around from subject to subject, I might order a book on Amazon, it goes on the pile, I read a little and move onto the next thing... Jack of All Trades, Master of None.
Back to Mon's post, she wrote, "If I do only what I'm passionate about, I have MORE TIME THAN I NEED" [her caps]. Wow. That's great, because I never have enough time. I want to look after my baby, be present for my marriage, nurture connections and friendships with old friends and new, I need to KNIT, cook and now I want to find the right area of study for some personal development. But how do I fit all of that in to my life and sleep?*  How will I know if I am doing that which I am passionate about? How do I find my passion?

*My first thought was to delete my Facebook account, I waste far too much time on there, "looking at stranger's photographs", as DH puts it. I think it would be a good idea but I'm scared of missing something!

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