Thoughts on Passions and Projects

Something about this post by Mon has stayed with me since I first read it, and my thoughts are developing around the idea of passion and a project, and hopefully finding a way to combine the two. I love my life, I love being a Mama and being a wife, and although I find it hard to leave the Monkey I do like (do I love?) my work as a therapist. I haven't really written about my work here on the blog, partly because confidentiality means that of course I can't share anything that might potentially identify a client, but also because I feel a little embarrassed that my job involves helping people make sense of their lives when this blog often describes my struggles to be a grown-up, mature, patient person, i.e. the qualities one really expects of a psychotherapist! I also fear being judged by my age, that others might feel I don't have the necessary life experience, at 35, to be of help to others in crisis. But I digress...

I need a project, something that inspires me, engrosses me, perhaps something that takes me away from the more prosaic, practical, routine elements of mothering and running a home, something educative, something- dare I say- spiritual? Enlightening? Something with depth, something intellectually challenging. I love learning, and I'd like to learn about something new (or not yet well-known to me) in depth and in detail. I think it needs to be either psychology or philosophy-related, because I also need to be doing some continuing professional development. For some reason I have Jung on my mind, archetypal, depth psychology, something like that?I have considered studying more on Mindfulness but whilst I love to read about it I am useless at the practical application, I have no discipline for cultivating Presence, and without the practice the theory is hollow. The internet is a bit of a demon because it means I just flit around from subject to subject, I might order a book on Amazon, it goes on the pile, I read a little and move onto the next thing... Jack of All Trades, Master of None.

Back to Mon's post, she wrote, "If I do only what I'm passionate about, I have MORE TIME THAN I NEED" [her caps]. Wow. That's great, because I never have enough time. I want to look after my baby, be present for my marriage, nurture connections and friendships with old friends and new, I need to KNIT, cook and now I want to find the right area of study for some personal development. But how do I fit all of that in to my life and sleep?*  How will I know if I am doing that which I am passionate about? How do I find my passion?

*My first thought was to delete my Facebook account, I waste far too much time on there, "looking at stranger's photographs", as DH puts it. I think it would be a good idea but I'm scared of missing something!