About Me

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I live in Kent with my husband, toddler Tilly (henceforth known as Monkey) and another baby due in November. We have two cats, Duncan and Lady Macbeth, and four chickens who kindly lay us eggs daily. We live in the picturesque seaside town of Broadstairs. I enjoy reading, knitting and cooking. I'm trying to be a bit 'greener' (not sure how successfully), and to be a gentle parent. Extended breastfeeding and co-sleeping don't freak me out, we use cloth nappies and try to follow some of the ideals of Attachment Parenting. If that sounds as if I know what I'm doing, I don't! I am also a psychotherapist with an interest in Focusing-oriented therapy, and I have a small private practice in the area.

Friday, 6 February 2009

Quick Update

I'll post again later this weekend with photos and tell you more about my lovely afternoon with two mamas from the Green Parent forum, but for now there's just time for a quick update about Monkey's check up.  It was a pretty awful start to the day, if truth be told. I took her to our regular clinic to be weighed, because I wanted to get a correct reading and there was a huge discrepancy when I got her weighed at the hospital once. Inside the clinic I put her on the changing table, turned slightly to the side to reach into my changing bag and.... she fell to the floor. Hard floor, no carpet. I feel sick just thinking about it again. I didn't even turn my back on her, she just flipped herself over so quickly. Fortunately she seems unhurt, she cried immediately from the shock but had no obvious signs of injury. The health visitor was obviously concerned but very sympathetic, but you can imagine how I was feeling. This was our first accident, but why did it have to happen there, at the clinic? And to top it all off, Monkey had lost a couple of ounces in the last 3 weeks.
Feeling shaky and just dreading the next part, we made our way to the other clinic for the developmental check with The Dreaded HV. I don't know whether she'd picked up some vibes from our previous telephone conversation, but I found her much less intrusive and preachy this time. I told her about Monkey's fall and couldn't stop myself from crying a little, I think it was the shock. The babe is spot-on developmentally, and whilst the HV asked questions about her eating it didn't dominate the conversation. I was asked to complete the post-natal depression questionnaire, which I scored low on, the only box I did tick was about "anxiety for no good reason", and I told the HV that a lot of that was related to concerns about the baby's weight and eating. Cue more tears. Jeez, didn't realise I'd let myself get that blocked up about it. Anyway, there is a positive outcome to all of this because the HV actually recommended I stop getting her weighed so regularly (I'd always been asked to come weekly or fortnightly) and said I should come 3-monthly or so. Blimey, that felt like a weight off. We're to come back when she's eating better just to confirm she's gaining again, and then we're staying away from the darn scales.
What else..? I feel a bit sad because I  found out that DH is going to South Africa on the 18th for almost two weeks on business. 


Joxy said...


Daisie said...

Blimey, a health visitor that speaks sense. Stop getting her weighed, hurrah! Isn't that what I've been saying for ages! Deep breath! You are a good mother! You have a beautiful, healthy daughter!
Big squeeze and kisses xxx

Mon said...

oh chook, I feel your anxiety!

My LO fell yesterday for the first time, off the bed. HORRIBLE!

I stopped these checks back at 3months. Now I know from looking at her, and from 'official' checklists, whether she is healthy and developing well enough. They are only guidelines afterall.

Claire said...

oh no poor you! It is horrid when they hurt themsleves like that, I hope you are both ok now. My dd fell from the stiars and smacked her head on the tiles and I was distraught but she was fine (I was a wreck tho!).

Thankgoodness your HV was sensible. Horray for making you feel so much better :)

I have not yet taken my dd to be weighed since her birth (even then it was done at home)! The NHS is only an optional thing afterall, it is there if we need or want it but it is ONLY optional, certainly not a requirement. Someone told me that ages ago and I felt soooo much better about not going. My dd grows and her clothes get smaller and I can see she is healthy so what the scales may say don't bothter me one bit. Also I think upping the breatsfeeding helps. I can see that the more I breastfeed my dd the plumper she gets, in fact I am a bit odd in that I offer my breasts far far more than she wants them! Seriously I feed her sooooo often it is unreal, but I have noticed from my other two children that they gained more weight and were healthier (lack of any illnesses) when I cut back on offering solids and just breastfed them so much more. Especially at night. I see my friends babies and they are all into cutting back night feeds and I have to smile because I have my breast out just there in case she wants it for most of the night!!! :lol I am totally fanatic about my dd getting LOTS of MILK. I am always, if in doubt - give Milk. It's probably my life motto or somwething, ha! I know you co-sleep anyway so prolly you do this already.....

I am sure you know all of this yourself anyway, don't mean at all to sound preachy, just offering what I have noticed with my own children and what I do :) My second ds seemed lighter than his brother and I just fed fed fed him for a Loooong time constanlty and he turned fabulously fat with my milk and looked like a lovely pile of milk sausages. My dd is slimmer still, but is much more active I think. I suppose when I think about it, it's why i feed her so much at night, to make up for and compensate for her busy little self during the day.

Love to you, what ever you do will be The Right Thing, your dd is totally gorgeous and looks as healthy as a child can be.

~ Claire

willow81 said...

Thank you lovely ladies.
Daisie- scales? what scales, ha ha!
Mon- I hope the Wildflower is okay. They're pretty tough, babies, aren't they? Thank goodness.
Claire, what a fab comment. I LOVE seeing pics of your little girl, she is adorable. And I've a huge crush on your boys too, crikey they're going to break some hearts. I'm laughing my head off at the thought of you with your boobs constantly out.... it does feel like that at night though sometimes, doesn't it? Babe is mostly sleeping in her own cot at night now, but she always gets milk if and when she wakes, and if she needs to she comes in with us. I just wish my milk made her fatter... I know now that's just not meant to be, she is a doll, but it's so easy to doubt yourself. The next babe will probably be a chubster and I'll be worrying about that instead, lol! xxx