About Me

My photo
I live in Kent with my husband, toddler Tilly (henceforth known as Monkey) and another baby due in November. We have two cats, Duncan and Lady Macbeth, and four chickens who kindly lay us eggs daily. We live in the picturesque seaside town of Broadstairs. I enjoy reading, knitting and cooking. I'm trying to be a bit 'greener' (not sure how successfully), and to be a gentle parent. Extended breastfeeding and co-sleeping don't freak me out, we use cloth nappies and try to follow some of the ideals of Attachment Parenting. If that sounds as if I know what I'm doing, I don't! I am also a psychotherapist with an interest in Focusing-oriented therapy, and I have a small private practice in the area.

Sunday, 1 November 2009


I was going to come on here and rant about the Monkey's weight and food problems, and about the upsetting appointment we had at the paediatrician the other week. I *might* still do the ranting but right now, for the first time in a couple of days, I feel the beginnings of a sense of peace and acceptance, there is calm in the storm that has been raging around here. A couple of things have helped: reading this piece from India Knight about her daughter's open-heart surgery (it's an old article but I follow India on Twitter and like her writing, I was just randomly flicking through some things she'd written). Also, thinking about friends of ours whose 6-week old baby died last year. So here's the thing, yes, our little girl is tiny, petite, she may even be unhealthily underweight (I don't know) and she has these breath-holding spells which are currently a huge challenge... but... she is here, she is not chronically ill, she is strong and characterful and she has shiny hair and eyes. Those who know her say she is thriving, and she is doing the right things at the right time. There may be some underlying reason for her smallness, or this might just be how she is. This evening it just struck me that we have a lot to be grateful for.


Slugs On The Refrigerator said...

Thank you for posting this. Beautiful and thoughtful piece. The India knight link was fantastic. I hope your calmness remains.

Michelle said...

Just something I thought of reading your post. Do you have small people in your family? A relatives son was very small as a child and when he was a baby I think, his parents were told that he was far too small and may need to be put in hospital. That's all very well saying he's small by comparing him to charts but his Mum's family were very small and he took after her family. Even now in his 20's I think he's only about my height 5ft 4. Sometimes the medical profession don't always look at the bigger picture or family characteristics or history. Hope it's all sorted out soon for you.

Daisie said...

So glad you are feeling calm about it all. I had the same problem with Elizabeth when she 'fell' off the bottom of the charts (which are not worth the paper they are printed on, who is the average child?!). If you take Monkey's weight back along the chart to match the height she is I bet they line up beautifully. I gave up having my babies weighed after the Elizabeth saga and now live by what I cna see. They eat a varied diet (some days more than others) they sleep, they are bright and alert and they poo. What more does a small person need to do really!?

Anonymous said...

Monkey looks the picture of health to me =] Just have to look at those big bright eyes to see that. Glad you're feeling a bit better about everything- you're doing a great job.

Cave Mother said...

I know how horrible it is to worry about your baby's weight, and having to talk to doctors about it is doubly horrible. Glad you're feeling a little better about it now.

Mon said...

Yes, oh yes, we are fortunate ones.

My girl is petite, I celebrate and pooh pooh the food freaks.

Earthenwitch said...

Sorry - off-topic, but wondered where you managed to find an all-weather suit for the Monkey that was small enough. The tiny daughter is still in 9 - 12 months clothes, and most of the waterproofs I've found are 12 - 18 months, which makes me think she'd be swamped... Any pointers?

(Oh, and yes - it's good to put things in perspective sometimes, and this did just that for me. :))

willow81 said...

Hi EW, I got Tilly the Togz all-in-one waterproof in size 9-12 months.
It fits her pretty well although there is only just enough length in the legs. The wrists are adjustable with velcro which is handy and the legs are elasticated. But she isn't tall either so if the tiny daughter is tall but skinny I'd say the 12-18 months would probably be okay.
The only problem we have is that wellies just won't stay on her feet, even when bulked out with legwarmers and numerous pairs of socks!

Joxy said...

Not seen you about for a while hon... hope all is well in your new home :-)


willow81 said...

Hi Joxy, thanks for checking in on us. We are all good and enjoying our new home. I've been a bit poorly the last week and DH has been working abroad so it's been "challenging"!! I keep meaning to sit down and do some blogging/ something creative, but the closest I get is reading and enjoying everyone else's blogs! Hope you and Rye are well and enjoying the run up to Xmas xx